Oh to be a Bass

As i sat today in choir, idealized just how awesome it would be to be a bass. As they sand their low D below the staff, i was truly mesmerized by the thickness of their vocal chords. and indeed my lord DID deliver Daniel.  (<--- i swear this was not meant to be a sexual innuendo...) What would life be like to be a bass? lets make a list! The following are 10 reasons as to why basses are so Bau5.

Basses are bau5. who else can sing soprano as well as bass, BESIDES the bases.... right NO ONE!

Basses have the ability to sing so low that it sounds as if one is belching and its still Bau5. why is it so bau5    to sound as if one is burping while actually singing? because James Earl Jones does it. thats why.


Its a simple fact that guys with extremely low voices get to be on super badass commercials, as well as movie trailers, also low voiced men get to play the awesome rolls in movies such as darth vader, or GOD!!

Basses by far have the greatest vibrato. Nuff said

As hard as a woman may try she will never achieve the same amounts of overtones in the sound. Why may this be? well simply because the lower the voice the more baller amounts of overtones.

WTV all the members of the opposite sex dig em'

 it is socially acceptable, and is almost required that all bases have a bad ass beard.

basses obtain the easiest baseline. although sometimes boring, basses get the opportunity to sustain their whole notes and mentally fall asleep. also making it acceptable to paint secondary eyeballs on your eyelids as to fool the choir director.



basses have the pleasure of having the word ass in their name.

basses can come say "come to me" in a James Brown type manner.